


Blood on the Crate

by Munnin, yakalskovich



Series: Necessary Pebbles verse [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, realisation of love, the force is with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9437084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munnin/pseuds/Munnin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yakalskovich/pseuds/yakalskovich
Summary: Bodhi comes back to Eadu after a rough month, shares another meal with Galen, and opens up about how bad things are on Jedha.





	

It was nearly a month standard before Bodhi could get a haul that lead him back to Eadu.

There were too many other runs and too much going on. The Empire needed cargo, and they needed it everywhere.

Bodhi didn't always get much say where he was sent, even if it was the one place in the galaxy he least wanted to be.

Jedha.

As much as he hated being wet, as much as he hated the load of Kyber in his hold, as much as he wanted to just lock the doors and sleep, he was looking forward the being back on Eadu.

And he didn't want to think too much about that.

About the fact Galen might be the only person in the galaxy who was expecting to see him. The only person who would notice if he didn't show up.

He had called ahead to the tower, radioing in his flight path and arrival time. As he had unpacking to do, he could find Galen once his work was done.

_Do the job, move forwards. Don't look back._

While the cargo was being unloaded, Galen turned up with the other scientists who immediately started to go over the shipment in great detail, making sure that everything was in its proper condition and working order, but Galen hung back while the others busily swarmed over the delivery, which was completely pristine. Bodhi had made sure of it. The scientist from the last run stepped over and tried to make a snide remark, power playing at Bodhi, but Bodhi just looked at him and walked away, over to Galen.

"Chief Scientist Erso." He touched the brim of his hat in respectful salute. Best to remain formal with people around.

"Pilot Rook," Galen answered, just as formally. "Seems this time, our sources came through, you delivered, and we didn't lose too much time. Thank you for your prompt return."

Bodhi nodded respectfully. "I would have been back sooner. But I was diverted."

He tried not to watch as the two large crates of kyber crystals were unloaded, the power lifting droids stepping in now the delicate cargo had been unpacked by hand. There were scorch marks and stains on one of the crates. The sort Bodhi couldn't look at. Not if he wanted to keep what little there was in his stomach.

"Everything has been delivered, is accounted for, and our work can continue," Galen declared, addressing everybody. But then, looking Bodhi, he added a tiny shrug and a grateful little smile.

Bodhi waited for the other scientists to head off before speaking, his voice low. "My next run is a pick up from here. The freighter I'm collecting from isn't due till late tomorrow. If you feel like sharing a meal..." He left the sentence open and hanging.

"I would be very grateful," Galen answered, watching the others and their droids trundle off happily with their new toys through the rising gale. "I'll see to the installation and testing of those, and will be back afterwards if that suits you?"

"The ship needs cleaning anyway." Something in Bodhi’s tone implied he was trying to swallow bile. "If you have somewhere else I could cook, that would be better." He'd clearly prefer somewhere private so they could talk, but he'd rather scrub the cargo mess top to bottom with his own toothbrush than eat or sleep in the ship this night.

"I do," Galen said. "I have a kitchen all to myself, albeit a small one, that I never use."

Bodhi gave him another small nod and touched his hat again, playing the dutiful imperial pilot. "Contact me when you're ready. Sir."

"I'll send you a message," Galen answered in turning away. Nobody had paid them any attention, as all the scientists were completely focused on bringing in the long-awaited new equipment.

Bodhi went back to his work, setting about cleaning the ship and seeing everything right for his next run. There was a kind of peace in following standard protocols for a chemical spill or cargo contamination. That way, he didn't have to think about what the contamination _was_.

He put himself through the fresher too, using the bigger, water based one in the barracks rather that his own little sonic shower. At least Eadu had no rules about water rationing.

Could there ever be too much water? Yes, on Eadu, there could. It was still raining when Galen opens his door for to Bodhi. The pilot looked well scrubbed, his scruffy hair clean and slicked back, his beard neat. Even his uniform was fresh and clean. He gave Galen that little not-quite-smile and adjusted the pack on his shoulder. "May I come in?"

Galen stepped aside. His quarters were spacious for the station on Eadu, but rather messy. He had cleared a table and two chairs, though, and his little kitchen was clean, not showing much sign of use and the smell of old socks or stale alcohol was mercifully absent. Instead, there was a faint scent of machinery and documents and drawings.

*Welcome," he said, motioning Bodhi inside.

"Thanks." Bodhi ran a critical eye over the little kitchen. "You really don't cook at all?" He put the bag down and started unpacking. Being shuttled around the galaxy this month hadn’t been fun but at least he'd had time to stock up. This time he could cook a proper meal rather than just the simple stew he made last time.

He pulled out a large earthenware jug and offered it to Galen: the herbal drink he had asked about. Galen accepted it, smiling gratefully. "I owe you," he said. "Name your price."

He opened the stopper and smelled it.

"And no, no more than brewing up caf in the morning, or making soup from a package if I don't feel like going to the mess. Basically, nothing more complex than boiling water."

Bodhi paused at Galen’s comment. Price? He had traded it for some undrinkable Mon Calamari brandy his contact refined into something resembling rocket fuel. It hadn't really cost him anything, not anything he wasn't glad to be rid of. And in an agonizingly short time, he'd started to think of Galen as a friend. His lips thinned, scowling at himself for being so pathetically sad.

"Don't worry about it. Just enjoy it." If it tasted like home and made life on this forsaken moon a bit more bearable for Galen, then it was worth the trip. But then, anything Jedhean would taste bitter to Bodhi right now.

He pulled himself together and started prepping, "I forgot to ask if there's anything you don't eat."

"Anything that could be argued to be self aware, anything that has been inside some creature before, or anything that is actually rotten, I would like to pass on," Galen said. "This planet is known for some rather horrid fish specialities which probably fulfil all three of those points, which is why this overly specific caveat."

Bodhi couldn't help but give a soft chuckle that lightened his mood somewhat. "I think I can get around all of those." He chopped and prepped while talking, checking the little oven against the size of his baking dish as he put together the meal. "Mon Cala has a dish like that. It can't be exported without special pressure controlled crates or it ferments and explodes."

Galen pretended to be shocked. "Oh, I forgot to mention, anything that actually explodes is to be avoided as well, if at all possible. At least as far as food is concerned."

Thank you, Galen. You actually got Bodhi to smile. That didn't happen much. Not lately anyway.

"I promise your meal won't talk back, rot, or explode." One tray in the oven, he started in on making up skewers. "Picked up some Riosan mead. It'll go well with dinner."

Bodhi had fully understood that Galen might not want to share the herbal liquor. The enjoyment of some things are personal and best does alone, especially if they were loaded with memories.

He looked around the room while he waits for his pan to heat up, trying to understand Galen better. The man and his personal space were all about his work and his research, scientific publications from all over the Galaxy as well as sources, including materials from some singed Jedi library. However, there were a few personal mementoes as well -- a Jedhean tapestry in deep jewel hues, depicting the spiritual cosmos of the Force, small statues of leaping, graceful animals with horns, and a child's drawings of the usual things children drew a few years back, before the Empire turned everything upside-down: Jedi with lightsabers, shaggy creatures that might possibly be Wookies, flying spaceships and shiny sunsets, and groups of stick figures labelled in a childish scrawl. These seemed the oldest layer in the room, as if Galen had put them up when he arrived and other things had encroached as time went on.

"Can I get you some tea, at least?" Galen offered, apparently wanting to contribute something as a host.

"Please?" Bodhi nodded, heating up some oil in the pan. He knew there was not child here. Not in this entire desolate place. So he wouldn’t ask about the child’s drawings. Not unless Galen brought it up.

"I know that icon." He instead gestured to the tapestry with the end of a dried fruit and meat skewer. "The harmonic whole. I remember seeing it in the temple as a child. You're a follower of the Way?"

Galen started making tea, with actual leaves and herbs from a tin rather than some handy powder. "I'm not," he said. "But my -- the teachings and secrets make sense. If we study those traditions, we find hard facts of a Force that actually permeates the universe with energy and a non-linear approach to reality that…” He stopped himself. "Sorry." He poured the boiling water into the pot.

"Don't be." Bodhi set the skewers to fry, the dried fruit giving off a sweet scent in the oil. "My mother was - is - a believer. Like most of the Jedhean poor. But I was raised by my grandmother." A little half smile turned up the corner of his lip as he watched the skewers fry, the meat sizzling. "The rarest of Jedhean wildlife - a pragmatist."

"Still, the tradition has a point, and I would like to respect it, not just the outcomes we carry away without further thought," Galen said. "It's so arrogant to think people on far-away, long-ago planets were in any way backwards or unenlightened, just because the models they used to explain the world differed from ours. Mine."

"My grandmother use to say that any planet settled by religious types was likely to have a few strange traditions. But most of them have a reason behind them. Like the tradition of sharing food. In Jedha, if a stranger comes to your door during a meal, the Way dictates that you pile his plate high before you ask his name." He served up the skewers and gestured towards the table. "There's very little native to Jedha that's edible. Almost everything has to be imported or farmed. And water is an even scarcer commodity." He gestured for Galen to help himself - the dark gamey meat matching well with the warm, sweet dried fruit. "So for the sake of sustaining the community - what you have, you share."

Galen helped himself, pausing to breathe in the steam from the food. "This smells delicious," he said. "And yes, it makes sense. What comes around, goes around. Everybody is connected by the resources they share, just as all beings are connected through the universal energy of the Force. It sounds very mystic, but is actually sound science."

"The same with children,” Bodhi put in. “Group marriages are common because the early settlement was small. The larger the family group, the more diverse gene-pool. A pregnant woman is held as a sacred vessel of the Force. Once born, the child is reared by whole community." He shrugged, bitter. "At least that's the way it's meant to work. In the slums of Jedha today, that translates to is roving packs of half starved children no-one takes responsibility for. Child mortality is as high in Jedha today as it was 500 years ago, but for very different reasons."

"Neglect," Galen said. "Exploitation. Breakdown of traditions." He took a bite from his skewer, as if pondering his next words well. "Bordering on wilful destruction out of ignorance and spite. You were probably lucky in your grandmother. In bad times, grandmothers are often the backbone of humanity and civilisation."

"She was the exception to a great many rules. And the only reason more that half my siblings survived to adulthood." Bodhi got up tidying away the entrees and getting the main dish out of the oven. "She taught me to read using outdated republic service manuals and her own cookbooks. She was a mechanic in the war."

He brought the dish to the table - a poultry and vegetable pie with a light wine sauce. Homely and simple but filling. And with plenty of leftovers to keep the scientist fed after Bodhi was gone. "And she knew how to cook for as many strangers as might show up."

"She raised you very well, and quite obviously was an excellent teacher," Galen said. "What do your siblings do now?"

Said casually, as one would have asked in peacetime.

"When my grandmother got sun-blight, we started making plans. I took a job with the Imperial base. We scraped enough together to get my sisters off-planet. They take care of rich people's children on Gendius V. It's not easy but they're getting an education. And they won't be forced to have children of their own before they're ready." Bodhi stabbed at a piece of pie. "As for my older brothers, I don't know." He put the fork down. "I suspect they have become bandits."

Galen nodded. "Nothing else left to do on a world that is being eaten away from under the feet of its inhabitants except resist or plunder their oppressors?" he said, sadly. One person's bandit being another person's freedom fighter, as always, this implied.

Bodhi lowered his eyes in something resembling a nod. "I was diverted to pick up the kyber. There had been an attack on the shipment. I saw some of the prisoners the storm troopers captured. They were friends of my brothers." He closed his eyes, trying to keep his voice level. "For all I know, the blood on that crate was my brothers'."

"Oh, Bodhi, I am so sorry," Galen said, reaching out to touch the pilot's elbow as if in support. "Where is that crate now?"

The touch made Bodhi shudder, a little surprised by the human warmth of it. It felt like a long time since anyone touched him. "On its was to the refinery, I suppose." He hated himself for the fact he was shaking. "I had to hose blood off the deck plates. The smell of it."

Galen kept his steadying hand on Bodhi's elbow. "Would you like quarters inside for tonight, and help with scrubbing your deck tomorrow!"

"Thank you. Yes." He'd hosed the worst of it out already, Eadu being abundant with water. But the scrubbing could wait. Somewhere away from the ship to sleep would help. He covered Galen's hand with his own, feeling the deeply human warmth of it. As there was a table full of food between them, all Galen could do was put his other hand on Bodhi's yet again.

Bodhi kept his eyes low, soaking in this moment of comfort. He knew he was shaking and hated it, the weakness of it, the cowardly desire to just break and weep. All the things he had come here to distract himself from doing. "Will you- can I use your fresher?" He needed to pull himself together, hating that he'd broken down like this.

"Of course," Galen said. "If you need to."

Bodhi stood, meaning to wash his face and pull himself together, but he was shaking too badly.Galen stood as well, concerned, and reached out a steadying hand again. The pilot had come this far, with the blood of his brothers or their friends on that crate; he’d distracted himself with food and Galen's company, but now has reached the end of his tether.

He clung to the taller man, only now realising how broad the scientist's shoulders were. Broad enough to bear Bodhi's weakness as well as whatever else had been forced onto Galen already.

"I'm sorry. I'm not... I'm a brave man, I know that. I'm a coward. I don't know how to do this."

Galen held him easily, as Bodhi was tall but slight, easily draped over his shoulder and held safely. He just went forward with what seemed right to him: hug the shaking man and stroke his back, giving him the silent permission to let go with strong, warm hands.

Clinging for a long moment, Bodhi took Galen's embrace as permission to finally let himself feel. Stars! How long had it been since anyone held him? The last time he saw the girls? Two years at least, maybe more. He'd forgotten how it felt.

Eventually, he pulled himself together, hating himself for having let go in front of Galen as he straightened. "I'm sorry. I didn't... this isn't why I came here tonight."

"It's what you need tonight, after all that happened, " Galen said. "We can be glad that we haven't gone numb."

"Sometimes I wonder if numb might be better." He sighed, distracting himself by pouring them both some mead. He offered a glass to Galen and drank his own in a too fast gulp.

Galen accepted his mead and sipped slowly. "No," he said. "Never. I never want to lose.." He gestured vaguely towards one of the children's drawings, showing figures labelled with names. "I treasure the pain."

"They took them from you?" Bodhi asked softly, pouring another glass. _They_ again had come to mean the Empire between them, the vast and dangerous other that looms over them both.

"Lyra, my wife, is dead," Galen said. "My little Jyn is safe. A rogue associate found her."

Rogue associate. That was the most dangerous admission yet. Bodhi's eyes widened, holding his breath. He looked at Galen for a long moment before stepping away to sip his drink. When he spoke again, his voice was very soft. "I don't know whether to be relieved or worried. That I'm not the only one with people on the other side. Not that my brothers would acknowledge me. If they are still alive."

He took another sip.

"Still, to know she's out there and safe." He nodded. It wasn’t much, but it was hope. He looked up at Galen slowly, his eyes still smarting from the threat of tears. "How do you do it? Do this. When they took so much from you?"

"While I do what I'm supposed to, they have no reason to go out there and catch Jyn to force my compliance," Galen pointed out. "As long as I know that, I can put up with anything -- even the ache in my conscience."

He took a sip from his own mead.

"Your brothers disowned you for choosing a living as a pilot over death as a -- bandit." Or freedom fighter.

Galen's suffering cut deep, and Bodhi's heart ached for him. In a rare gesture, he reached for Galen's hand, entwining their fingers. "For being a traitor to Jedha, yes. And worse, for kidnapping my sisters and selling them to the Empire. All because I helped them find work on a more stable world rather than see them suffer in the slums of a war zone."

Galen closed his fingers around Bodhi's and held them. "It was worth it, for them." Not a question. He sighed. "That's probably one of the most perfidious things about tyranny."

"No matter what we do, we're traitors to someone." Bodhi agreed with a sigh, stepping closer to Galen, their hands still linked. "And ourselves."

It wasn't a conscious decision, kissing Galen. It just... was.

Galen didn’t seem surprised, his answering kiss soft and gentle and chaste, savouring the closeness but not pushing further.

Bodhi broke the kiss softly, resting his forehead against Galen. He gave a wry little sigh and shook his head. "I feel like I should apologise but I would be lying. I'm not sorry I kissed you. And I'd rather like to do it again. If you okay with that."

Galen lifted his hand to stroke Bodhi's narrow cheek, then wordlessly tilted his chin forward to once more kiss him, gently and full of awe.

Bodhi didn’t quite moan, more of an awed sigh of his own as he returned the kiss. He was keeping it chaste for now, just enjoying this simple connection. Galen's generous lips, the light brush of his beard against Bodhi's, the scent of mead on his breath. His hand drifted lower, caressing the curve of Galen's neck before resting over his heart. Galen was stroking Bodhi's neck, strong fingers tangling in the dark hair. It felt like a sunrise after a hailstorm, or stepping into a warm room after a march through a cold and wet night. He hadn't even realised he was missed the friendly touch of a person so much. Bodhi felt it like a break in the clouds that made you realise how dark it had been. He smiled, soft and shy. He had no idea what to say and just wanted to revel in this.

Galen looked at him just then, and his sudden amazement registered on his face, as if he hadn't realised how lovely the gangly pilot really was, not until right now when the shy smile lit up Bodhi’s soft, sweet lips and the deep, dark, soulful doe eyes. Bodhi was lovely as a shy sight-hound would be lovely, elegant and reticent and sad and gentle. Bodhi was, at this moment, heart-piercingly beautiful all of a sudden when he had been a friendly but generic person to look at right until now. "Bodhi..." Galen whispered, kissing him again.

Bodhi's breath caught in a half sob. No-one had ever looked at him like that. Like he was worth something. Like he mattered. He had had lovers. Well, no. That was overstating it. He had had clandestine fumbles in back room; other cadets and pilots. People who needed to scratch an itch and move on. But no-one who had looked at Bodhi like he was worth looking at. Like he might be someone special. Certainly no-one as strikingly handsome as Galen Erso. He leant into the kiss, his fingers straying to the fine hairs at the nape of Galen's neck.

Galen kissed him back while that honeyed warm feeling washed through them both in great, slow waves, blooming upwards in the way a Scarif sunrise unfolds through time.

But then, there came a small, mean beep in the background, insistent like a fussy droid.

Bodhi parts his lips, just risking a deeper kiss when the chime broke through his wonderment. He tensed. "Door chime?" he asked in a whisper, prepared to bolt for the fresher if needed.

The last thing Galen needed was to get caught making out with a pilot in his room.

"Comm," Galen said, not yet letting go of him. "I have to answer."

Bodhi nodded and darted in for one more soft but meaningful kiss before stepping back, sitting back at the table to be out of Galen's way.

Galen answered the comm, and his first comment to the worried babble emerging from the speakers was "NO!", followed by "Don't do anything, I'll be right there," and then "Don't risk all that kyber until you are certain."

He slammed a flat hand on a button and turns to Bodhi. "I have to go. The night shift found a flaw in a routine process."

"I'll go." Bodhi nods hurriedly, gathering his things. "I'll bunk in the pilot's mess tonight."

Galen put on a coat, turning away to hide a sudden fierce blush as if only now realising that something else might have been thought of or possible or on offer, had the chime not intervened. Something more than kisses. So that was something that could happen...

"I will see you in the morning before you have to leave," he said. "Either in the mess or by your ship."

"Galen." Bodhi caught hold of his wrist, gently turning the scientist to face him. "I... tonight has been... more to me than I can tell you. I-" Words failed him again, so he pulled Galen close, kissing him again, deeper this time, pouring his hopes into it that this would not be the end.

And no, it would not be the end, judging from the way Galen cupped Bodhi's face in his hands as he answered the kiss once more. This was only a beginning, a first dawn of realisation. On impulse Bodhi pulled him tight and close, their bodies moulding against each other in a brief moment of shared warmth.

"Go." His voice was rough as he broke the kiss, not trusting himself to let go at all if he didn’t do it now. "I'll clean up here and see you tomorrow."

"Thank you," Galen said. "You're lovely. I'll see you."

One last, pecked kiss, the coat pulled tight, and he hurried out the door.

Bodhi leaned against the wall, staying out of sight till the door closed. He sighed, slow and deep. Stars, he could barely breathe! He still felt Galen's lips on his, the heat of his touch, the light in his eyes when he looked at Bodhi.

Bodhi forced himself to move, to clean up the kitchen and put away his things, the way his grandmother taught him. There was comfort in the familiar ritual of it. Easier than dwelling on the fact he might be in love with Galen. He packed the food away in Galen's little cooler, all cut into meal sizes. Yes, he was a feeder. It was a Jedha thing. (Not really but he wasn’t going to admit that.)

Finally, once everything was back in order, he opened the door, looking furtively around before heading for the mess and a lonely bunk.

Not that the memories of those kisses wouldn't warm him.


End file.
